Creative Answering Machine Messages

[ellanoize]

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.

Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for
repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get
back to you.

This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about
returning your call.

Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking
and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone.
Otherwise, well, what can I say?

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy.
After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an asshole return
your call as soon as possible.

[cherrysmum]

"dial-an asshole" hahahhhhhaaaa...thats how it is with customer service these days..LOL..

My granddaughter who lives in D.C. has this on her machine "record"...soooo cold.....